Long Live Etiquette
Some days it seems that what we do at Arzberger, creating traditionally beautiful papers, is becoming exceedingly rare in a sea of whimsical designs without rules. But we believe, and are sticking to it, that the paper you write a letter on, or the wedding invitation you issue, are too important to let go to whimsy. Because we have been in the engraving business for nearly a century, we have a plethora of examples to use as reference for how “it” should be done. We are proud that long-standing codes of etiquette are still the basis for the products we create.
For as long as we have record of, our company’s etiquette bible has not been Emily Post or Miss Manners, but rather “Vogue’s Book of Etiquette” (by Millicent Fenwick, Condé Nast Publications, first edition 1948, second edition 1969). We still turn to it often as a reference. It is a truly comprehensive book, with a surprisingly timeless and non-regional view on every subject
in which etiquette and good manners must be considered.
The term “etiquette” has suffered in recent years. It has been labeled stuffy, and has lots its place in the modern world of e-mails, tweets, and e-vites. We are modern people who love e-mail and convenience foods but still understand the importance of etiquette and the upholding of tradition. We attest that etiquette is just as vital and valid a practice despite the
appearance of modern conveniences.
There are some old guidelines from “Vogue’s Book of Etiquette” that make us chuckle, such as “The largest pools are tiny by comparison to the sea. For this reason alone, good manners at a swimming pool are essential. It is decidedly unattractive to splash, make a racket, or race madly up and down the length of the pool to show off your speed.” For every chuckle, this book is just as full of solid advice about the reverence and wording of a wedding invitation, how to use social titles properly, the ideal form of a baby announcement, and the
important pieces in a stationery wardrobe.
Social norms may vary regionally, or even city to city. What the Vogue book explains, and what we follow, is the tenet that regardless of geography, etiquette is a combination of consideration for others, exercise of good taste, and respect for accepted traditions. Etiquette and good manners exists to make others feel respected and comfortable.
As excerpted: “In the increasingly rare instances where custom continues to dictate forms and procedures, they are more important than ever because they invest a number of everyday situations and outstanding events with dependability and, upon occasion, the ceremonious dignity, that are so important to any civilized society. Whether one is setting the family dinner table or planning a wedding once in a lifetime, tradition plays an essential role. True, the only value of some surviving forms is the fact that they are long-established and people are reluctant to drop them, but even that arbitrary reason is worth respecting; it eliminates doubt as to what is correct. Most forms, however, have been preserved because they are basically considerate, or useful, or in good taste. It is a mistake to ignore the traditions that are still maintained by well-mannered people, just as it is a mistake to change them on one’s own initiative.”
Perhaps there is something cool and modern about making an effort to practice good manners and taste. Where it was once the norm, it is now unique to do so. So doesn’t that make
traditional papers and good etiquette the next new trend?
